It would be sooooo much easier
if I could open my mouth
and say whatever I wanted like he can.
He says the sweetest things to me
and I melt,
every time,
no matter what it is he says
or how many times he says it.
I know it comes from the heart.
Every time.
He's fearless when it comes to words.
I wish it were that simple for me.
But sadly, it's not.
If only I could tell him,
tell him to his face everything that I have practiced in my head.
Things like, "You are my whole world."
Or... "I'll love you forever."
But those phrases are too cliche;
it doesn't sound from the heart.
I want to tell him that the day of our first kiss
plays in my head over and over.
I want to tell him that I hear his name in my head
a million times a minute.
I want to tell him that he is the one I want to be with,
for the rest of my life.
That he is the one I love.
That our song rings in my head
every time I'm upset or feel lonely.
"If I go crazy then will you still call me Superman?"
Truth is, I have it in my head that he is Superman,
he is my whole world,
and I will love him forever.
I know these feelings are true,
so why can't I say them out loud?
It can't be that I'm afraid of his reaction,
I already know how he feels about me.
Again, it would be sooooo much easier
if I could open my mouth
and say whatever I wanted to him.
What if all of these thoughts of mine
just popped into his head one day?
Or he heard me ramble on to myself about all of this.
That is where all of these words came from after all,
me talking to myself in my bed when I can't sleep at night.
I guess for now,
I'll keep asking a piece of paper questions about my love life,
not that I'll be getting any replies...
All I'm getting out of this are vented feelings.
But I figure he'll find this paper eventually...
Depending on where I put it
and how well I guard it.
Guess I'll stop writing now.
Thanks for listening! (:
I think paper will be my new best friend.

-Emily